I started writing on the other blog again, but I'm keeping this one too. It helps to purge the ugly but I don't want to do that in front of such a big audience so I'll be here too.
You know what gets on my last god-blessed nerve? The way he apologizes. I know that sounds so petty and stupid but I hate it when anyone does it so it's really not just him.
"I'm sorry you feel that way."
That phrase makes me see red any time anyone says it, but it's his favorite. It removes all responsibility from you and places it squarely on the shoulders of the other person, as in it's not my problem you can't handle me saying you're fat. It's bullshit. He gets confused at the concept of taking responsibility for your own reactions and applies it to getting upset as well. Yet *I* have to reframe, rephrase, find new words lest I set him off. If I upset him, I always say I'm sorry I upset you. To say anything else is flat-out rude and it minimizes the other person's feelings, as though they have no right be upset at something you've said or done.
Although I'm not surprised. He is the king of logic and will argue his way out of all responsibility for every situation, even the one we're in now. If I hadn't done what I did, he wouldn't have had to do what he did, so it's really my fault and I owe him the apology. It makes me want to pull my hair out.
For him there is no such thing as taking his medicine, sitting in the hot seat and he sure as hell would never ever tolerate being 'put in the doghouse.' It makes me tired. Just apologize sincerely and let's get on with our lives.
Yet another skill that must be learned. Yippee.
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